navigation


"I shout into it,
the darkness I wander through,
I call out your name."

Dean and Desperation: The One Silent Tear
2x02 "Everybody Loves A Clown" / 2x17 "Heart" /
2x20 "What Is and What Should Never Be" / 2x22 "All Hell Breaks Loose II" /
4x10 "Heaven and Hell" / 4x16 "On the head of A Pin" /
5x04 "The End" / 9x01 "I Think I'm Going to Like It Here" /
9x09 "Holy Terror"

Let’s talk about Dean and emotions. Let’s talk about sadness and desperation in particular, because when you get right down to it that has been the one and most heartbreaking constant in the Winchesters’ lives. Losing the ones they love, feeling guilty for being unable to save them, selling their souls to bring each other back.

Let’s talk about how Dean always tries to keep his game face on, tries to appear as if nothing can shake him. Let’s talk about how that “cool guy”/”macho”-persona has nothing to do with who Dean Winchester truly is at all. It’s a role he plays, a character he slips into the same way he flashes his FBI badge and poses as an agent.

Let’s talk about how most of Dean suppressing his emotions stems from the way he was raised, how showing emotions and crying most probably at one point or another has been put off as a weakness as something ~feminine, something a good little soldier just does not do, because it makes him vulnerable.

Let’s talk about how Dean most of the time - except for a few exceptions - would never give in to how he truly feels in public, how even if inside of him everything is screaming and he can feel the tears welling up in his eyes, he would try to breath them away. Let’s talk about how really only his brother, his surrogate father and his best friend have seen him cry. Let’s talk about how they are the only people he feels ~comofortable enough to let his walls down. Even though most of the time it only lasts for a brief period of time that he lets them see him like that: vulnerable, fragile. Let’s talk about how in those moments, when all gets too much to bear and all of the emotions are washing over him, he looks so lost, so young, like the kid he was never allowed to be. Let’s talk about how within a matter of moments he’s got his walls back up again and higher than before.

Let’s talk about how Dean has never been a tough guy, but gentle. Someone who craves affection, someone who craves connection. A connection that goes beyond physical touch, transcends and aims for the heart, the soul. Yes, let’s talk about all of this and more. And then let’s talk about how Dean has never been a man of words, but of actions and gestures. And how one look can say so much more than a million words ever could and how one silent tear rolling down a stubbled cheek tells an entire lifestory of despair and tragedy, but also a story about love. And love…


"Images do have a subtext: what the image means before a single word is spoken. On the one hand, something is shown; on the other hand, something is said. Sometimes these two levels of meaning overlap, and sometimes they contradict each other. It’s a kind of semiotic game, and I love being a part of it. Of course, the director is in charge of the game. But these issues must be addressed, otherwise we only shoot what is obvious. Cinematography is not just about lighting. Light helps to create meaning. A good script focuses on an essential conflict. As a cinematographer, I am looking for the essential light that will be the extension of that conflict and that will enable the viewer to experience it."
— Sarah House and Lynn Zubernis, “Fan Appreciation no.2 Serge Ladouceur: The Cinematographer.” In Fan Phenomenon: Supernatural, edited by Lynn Zubernis & Katherine Larsen (Intellect Books, 2014). (via justanotheridijiton)

*despairs at work because of work*

"I think the fans look more closely in this show because there’s a lot of symbolism inherent in the show, so fans try to figure out what’s coming up.”

“Foreshadowing!” we said cleverly.

“Exactly, so we toy with that a little bit. We do that within an episode too, I’ll throw a little bone out there, see if they pick up on it before the end of the show. They’re pretty good."
— Jerry Wanek in Fangasm: Supernatural Fangirls, by Katherine Larsen and Lynn S. Zubernis (University of Iowa Press, 2013: 207)

Anonymous asked: "oh my gosh excuse the dumbassery that just happened. that was meant for someone else. you already got the memo. -blushes for eternity- um, hopefully your monday is a good one? i meant to send you a proper ask and i'm gonna die from embarrassment...."

aw sweetie! *hugs*

no problem! don’t feel weird and don’t feel embarassed. i sent messages to the wrong people as well before, so… :)

but yes, basically what you said has been my go to scenario re: how long demon!dean will last. like, for a couple of seconds i was upset when reading the post and then i thought. :D you dork, i see what you did there. :)

Hopefully your monday will be a good one as well. I would prefer to stay home, but well can’t do that. ;_;

posted 15 hours ago

dustydreamsanddirtyscars:

N° 13 in the Series "Favourite SPN Shots"
4x09 "I Know What You Did Last Summer"

"And you’re Dean. The Dean? […] The angels talk about you. You were in hell, but Castiel pulled you out and some of them think you can help save us. And some of them don’t like you at all."

This will always be one of my absolute favourite shots and right up there with Castiel’s introduction in “Lazarus Rising” when the signs on the door at the abandoned gas station said “wings”, “positive” and “no smoke”. And while of course Anna’s introduction started right in the beginning of the episode with her sitting on her bed in a mental hospital listening to angels talk, this moment here - when Sam and Dean find her in the church - to me will always be the ~true character introduction of Anna.

Because the visual of Anna hiding behind a glass painting is not just beautiful on an artistic level, but because it is one of the most amazing foreshadowing shots the show has done over the years imo.

Anna, a girl, who thinks she is losing her mind, because she can hear angels talk hides behind the glass painting of an angel. The same girl, who would remember later in the episode that she is exactly what she was hiding behind: an angel. A fallen angel. A fallen angel, who became human by ripping out her grace, because she no longer wanted to hide, not behind a glass painting, not behind being an angel, but wanting to trade everything heaven stood for for human emotion. For pain, for love, for all of it.

But it’s not just the glass painting that foreshadows the reveal of Anna being an angel. It’s the following shots as well. Especially those when she gives up her cover and walks into the room, right in front of this huge painted and patterned window. In front of which she comes to halt dead center. And it’s not just the windows behind her, but Sam and Dean as well, who ~give her wings. As wingmen. Helping her to figure out, who she is and embark on a quest with her to find her grace…


Off to bed

Good night, lovelies!

Why does it have to be monday again already tomorrow? *groans*

Sweet dreams y’all!

♥♥♥♥


Demon Dean doesn’t last very long. #DallasCon Crowd busts Jensen for spoilers.

deanharrisackles:

x


. @JensenAckles : Crowley is kinda demon dean’s pet… #dallascon

deanharrisackles:

x


gorlassar:

What we’ve got here is a progression of sorts…from Fergus to Crowley.

I find these questions funny…as ‘true form’ top side?…Red smoke, no question. Down below? That’s different beast entirely since I already shared that I think a demon would appear different depending on who sees them. And while I ADORE consulting-cannibal’s and snewts’ true form designs…for me humanity can be the true monster, so I see no reason to stray TOO far from homosapien, especially since SPN’s demons are twisted human souls instead of fallen angels like some shows.

On a different note…can’t believe I hadn’t thought of using William Morgan Sheppard as my base for Fergus. Now I just feel silly.


"I will love you forever; whatever happens. Until I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, until I find you again."
— Phillip Pullman, The Amber Spyglass (via hariboo)

Track Title: Black-Eyed (Dean's Song - Part II)

Artist: Dusty Dreams and Dirty Scars

dustydreamsanddirtyscars:

Black-Eyed (Dean’s Song - Part II) // Dusty Dreams and Dirty Scars

"Hiding in the shadows, darkness is my light

Inside of me there is an endless raging fight

Now you can see me, who I became

I never been a hero, just a broken-hearted man

Now I spread my wings and the fall feels like flyin’

It’s so much easier to just give in and stop the tryin’

…………………..

Cause I see the world with different eyes

Tonight, tonight

…………………..

Cause I’m black-eyed, black-winged

Becoming one with the dark

You left me bleeding, stabbed me right through my heart

Black-eyed, black-winged

I’m bruised to the bone

Though it doesn’t feel wrong

But like I’m home

Like I’m whole

…………………..

It all feels different, it all feels new

No longer weighed down by what I thought I had to do

I’m something else now, though I’m still myself

I’m so much better, I don’t need any of your help

So I spread my wings and I’m finally free

Embracing everything I never thought that I should feel

…………………..

Cause I see the world with different eyes

Tonight, tonight

…………………..

Cause I’m black-eyed, black-winged

Becoming one with the dark

You left me bleeding, stabbed me right through my heart

Black-eyed, black-winged

I’m bruised to the bone

Though it doesn’t feel wrong

…………………..

See what I see, feel what I feel

You thought you had me under your control

You thought you’d tame me, didn’t think that I’d be

Completely out ouf your league

So see what I see and feel what I feel

You can’t pull my strings

Learn the hard way, that I’m the one, who wins

…………………..

Cause I see the world with different eyes

Tonight I come back to life

…………………..

Cause I’m black-eyed, black-winged

Becoming one with the dark

You left me bleeding, stabbed me right through my heart

Black-eyed, black-winged

I’m bruised to the bone

Though it doesn’t feel wrong

But like I’m home

Like I’m whole”

Alright… I have wanted to write a sort of follow-up to "Save Me (Dean’s Song)" for a while now, but I never actually found the time to sit down and really work on something. Fun fact: The whole chorus I have had lieing around for years (You don’t have to believe me, but really, the chorus is like 5 years old. Meaning, I wrote it LONG before I even got into SPN.) and was never able to complete it.

And then a couple of days ago, while going through my notebooks, where I am scribbling down all kinds of ideas, I stumbled upon it and was hit over the head with how well it was fitting to Dean’s arc in the end of S9 and how it might unfold in S10, but I still didn’t feel the right spark to turn the few lines into a song. That changed yesterday, when I was drowning in excitement over all the new spoilers regarding S10, Demon!Dean and how Jensen described his relationship with Crowley and how it deteriorates rather quickly (strangely enough it was not the musical spoiler that lead to me writing the song lol). That was the moment the lyrics and melody just… happened.

So, the song obviously is about Dean. :) Or rather Demon!Dean or the duality of True!Dean vs. Demon!Dean and him outsmarting the king of hell and coming out much stronger on the other side.

That’s all. I hope you enjoy. I cannot wait for S10 to finally start. It’s going to be one hell of a ride. :)

As for the song. As always, it’s really more of a rough demo rather than a complete and done song and production. It’s acoustic, stripped down to guitar and vocals and nothing is mixed. Meaning: No effect on the vocals, no nothing, I just regulated the volume. Also as always, I am extremely anxious about publishing this. I know I got nothing but nice feedback about the other song, but I am just a very critical person when it comes to my own work and it is rather personal. So yeah, that’s all… I hope you like it.


"It’s Alive!": Crowley as Frankenstein and Dean Winchester as his Demonic Creature

littlehollyleaf:

larinah:

sparklylegolas:

I got a chance to re-watch “Do You Believe in Miracles” this evening, and something occurred to me (or, rather, it had occurred to me upon the first viewing, but I was able to think about it more clearly this time around). There was a reference at the end of the episode, and what it means for season 10 could be huge.

So as some of you know, I’m big on horror, and when I watch Supernatural, I’m usually thinking about how the show interacts with the horror genre. Because SPN is a genre show, there are obviously a number of influences that the writers use, and based on the last minute or so of the finale, there might be a big clue into where the next season is headed.

This gifset is an abridged version of that scene, but since I’m no good with making gifs, it will have to do for your visual. It’s from Crowley’s speech to Dean, where he remarks that what Dean feels is not death “but life.” Crowley grabs Dean’s hand, curls Dean’s fingers around the First Blade, and then commands him to open his eyes.

When I first watched this scene, I thought it reminded me of something but I shrugged it off. Upon re-watching it, though, I know I was right: this scene is straight out of Frankenstein.

I don’t mean the book, although there are shades of that, too, but the 1931 film. You know it even if you’ve never seen it: Dr. Frankenstein gets his monster (or creature) to come to life and triumphantly shouts, “It’s alive!” at the first sign of movement. You can view the scene right here.

Here are some things that struck me, upon comparing the two scenes:

Read More

This meta has been in the back of my mind since I read it in May.  After having read Frankenstein since then and discussing it in an online class as well as seeing spoilers for the upcoming season, I like it even more!  It does indeed seem that Dean is breaking away from Crowley and running around while Crowley perhaps tries to corral him.  Crowley may even be a little repulsed by what he has “created”.

This all also makes me think of Metatron and Cas at the end of season 8 and throughout 9.  Because Metatron played the Dr. Frankenstein part in creating a new semi-human version of Cas and then sent him off on his own, only to end up following him around and thinking of himself as the hero and Cas as the villain. (Cas even had angry mobs of angels after him, much like the monster.) In fact, I still hold that playing “The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore” in Meta Fiction, the episode in which Metatron made it clear to Cas what roles they were supposed to be playing, was at least in part a reference to the X-Files episode Post-Modern Prometheus, which is in turn a reference to Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus.

Getting back into some spn meta and starting with this, because it relates nicely to my fav spn topic (PROMETHEUS! :p).

I’ve talked about DEAN being a Dr. Frankenstein figure before, in the sense of Frankenstein being a Promethean figure - transgressing the natural/norm via playing god, stealing power from ‘heaven’ in order to give the spark of life to a personal creation. You can make a case that Dean plays the role of Frankenstein to both Sam and Cas in various ways (I won’t babble about it now though - it’s just been a fun parallel I’ve enjoyed for ages is all).

SO - it really tickles me to see Dean now being considered in the role of Frankenstein’s monster!

Considering how Frankenstein as a term has become beautifully mixed up with the monster/creature, since various films/tv/literature versions of the story dub the monster/creature Frankenstein, which plays nicely into the overall ‘who is the real monster?’ theme running through the story, I think it’s really appropriate that Dean (long LONG having existed in that grey area of man-monster) should fit both the Frankenstein(/Prometheus) and Frankenstein’s monster/creature role :)  

Hmmm… I wonder… Could you take this further back than Crowley? Could you say Dean was something of a ‘Frankenstein’s creature’ to JOHN? It was John’s upbringing that crafted Dean’s self-loathing, his belief that he was little more than a weapon and led to him resigning himself to that and embracing the Mark of Cain, which has made him a creature/monster… No, perhaps that’s going too far :p

Crowley as a Frankenstein figure though - oh! Believing he is accomplishing something great, that he is in control, that he is as god - UNTIL he is confronted by his creation and finds himself woefully unprepared for the care of it. Yes, that works :) ALTHOUGH, unlike Frankenstein, I do not think Crowley will shun his ‘child’ - I think he’s going to try and ‘nurture’ Dean, keep him at his side (perhaps to try and make up for his failings with Gavin? but that’s another musing). But, like all versions of the transgressive doctor, I think it’s a sure thing Crowley will fail to control his creation, yup!

And Crowley and Metatron seemed to me to be being presented as equal opposites all Season 9 (opposing players over a chess board) - so yes, like the idea of Metatron being Frankenstein to a creature!Cas as well. And just as Metatron’s ‘creature’ proved out of his control and his undoing, so will Crowley’s.

Cool :)

But where will that leave our ‘creatures’? In the book, Frankenstein’s creature resigns himself to being a monster in order to destroy his creator (well, in a nutshell). But once Frankenstein is destroyed it’s implied that the creature lives on in the Arctic, either unable to die or at least having a vast lifespan ahead of him, doomed to live out the rest of his days alone and branded forever a monster, defined by the vile, unforgivable crimes he has committed to achieve his goal.

Well - Dean and Cas both resigned themselves to ‘doing what they had to’ ie. being a monster/monstrous/barbaric, in order to achieve their goals in Season 9. Cas stealing that angel’s grace, Dean taking on the Mark. But, I think they will not end up like the poor creature of the novel, alone and forever damned. Since, unlike the poor creature, they have friends and family to give them much needed help/support. But I guess we’ll see!


N° 13 in the Series "Favourite SPN Shots"
4x09 "I Know What You Did Last Summer"

"And you’re Dean. The Dean? […] The angels talk about you. You were in hell, but Castiel pulled you out and some of them think you can help save us. And some of them don’t like you at all."

This will always be one of my absolute favourite shots and right up there with Castiel’s introduction in “Lazarus Rising” when the signs on the door at the abandoned gas station said “wings”, “positive” and “no smoke”. And while of course Anna’s introduction started right in the beginning of the episode with her sitting on her bed in a mental hospital listening to angels talk, this moment here - when Sam and Dean find her in the church - to me will always be the ~true character introduction of Anna.

Because the visual of Anna hiding behind a glass painting is not just beautiful on an artistic level, but because it is one of the most amazing foreshadowing shots the show has done over the years imo.

Anna, a girl, who thinks she is losing her mind, because she can hear angels talk hides behind the glass painting of an angel. The same girl, who would remember later in the episode that she is exactly what she was hiding behind: an angel. A fallen angel. A fallen angel, who became human by ripping out her grace, because she no longer wanted to hide, not behind a glass painting, not behind being an angel, but wanting to trade everything heaven stood for for human emotion. For pain, for love, for all of it.

But it’s not just the glass painting that foreshadows the reveal of Anna being an angel. It’s the following shots as well. Especially those when she gives up her cover and walks into the room, right in front of this huge painted and patterned window. In front of which she comes to halt dead center. And it’s not just the windows behind her, but Sam and Dean as well, who ~give her wings. As wingmen. Helping her to figure out, who she is and embark on a quest with her to find her grace…