9x08 "Rock and A Hard Place"
10x03 "Soul Survivor"
10x01 "Black"

While capping some stuff yesterday I stumbled upon this scene from 9x08 “Rock and A Hard Place”, where Sam confesses to Dean that he thinks that he’ll never be alright and that they are only always trying to find some reason for him being the way he is - like he says himself: a mess - but never taking into account that maybe it’s just him.

And while in S9 it was not just him - though technically Vesta had said the truth, Sam was practically dead if it wouldn’t have been for Gadreel - but something supernatural within pulling his strings, in S10 it’s different (I assume). I think one major aspect of the season, will be us seeing Sam having to deal with what he did and does. Because whatever he did/does cannot be chalked up to demon blood, visions, hallucinations or posession but it’s in fact - like Dean tells him - all him. There is no excuse for him being weighed down by some supernatural influence. It is all him. An all Human!Sam doing horrible things and seemingly having lost sight of the road he is heading down completely. Or, you know, he just doesn’t care anymore. Embraces the monster within the same way Dean had in S9…



  • Dean is “cured” by the end of 10x03 “Soul Survivor. NOTE the quotes. Demon!Dean might not be around but the MOC remains and it continues to be a serious issue.
  • Does Sam cure Dean? Sam is heavily involved in curing Dean.
  • Episode 10x04Paper Moon" begins with Sam and Dean drinking beers by the water. Seems like things are good between them. NOTE: this appears to be the episode they were filming when Jared did the ice bucket challenge.
  • Cole appears in eps 10x01 ”Black" and 10x02 Reichenbach”. He apparently captures Sam sometime in 10x01 (probably the end of the ep) and their scenes continue in ep 10x02.
  • Rumor has it, Hannah will probably use her grace to save Castiel Hannah’s vessel will return to her husband so it seems she willingly cuts out her grace to heal Cas. What’s more, the name Hannah" meansgrace”.
  • There will be no Becky in the 200th episode and no love triangles. Jensen and Jared do not sing in it, Most of the roles in the play based on Chuck’s books are mostly played by girls, even Sam and Dean (you can see their names on imdb).

NOW. Take all this with a grain of salt BUT this info comes from a source that is pretty legit. Personally, I have to say all the spoilers I ever read coming from this source ( an LJ site ) were legit. 

10 Days until Season 10
"10 Most Memorable Moments of Season 9" → Dean (3/10)
Day 8: 9x02 "Devil May Care"

It’s a horror show up there, you told her. And it wasn’t a lie. She had no idea what she shook loose with those few words. Didn’t know how triggering they were. What they reminded you of. How they scared you because maybe - deep down - they felt all too familar too. You had kept those memories stored away, locked down somewhere in the darkest corners of your mind, somewhere, you thought you would forget about some day entirely. But you didn’t. And you won’t. No matter how hard you try. They are etched into your brain. Written behind your eyelids. Carved into your heart. You did a damn good job of keeping them at bay. For all those years. With the pills and the booze. You were almost able to silence them completely. Almost. One voice always remained. You couldn’t drown it out no matter how much you drank. Those demons inside of you they learnt how to swim. And slowly, but steadily they clawed their way to surface. Just waiting for the right moment. To escape. Be freed…


i personally think it’s more full on psycho than ~dark. it certainly shows sam off the deep deep deep end.


I’ve moved on from being annoyed about Sam falling back into old habits and once again being drawn back into the toxic Winchester cycle (as I was when he went to seemingly make a deal with Crowley, or whatever, to bring Dean back at the end of S09). I now think it’ll be GOOD to have him sucked back into the toxicity. Could make for dramatic realisations all round about the need for change, to break the cycle, and greater commitment from both him and Dean to do so.

*crosses fingers* :)

I kind of like how they played with that in the sneak peek. Because for a tiny moment - and I hope this isn’t too spoilery for you, if so: SORRY!!! - the audience imo is very deliberately lead to think or take into account and ask the question if Sam might have fallen off the wagon demon blood wise. Curious to see how this is going to play out as well. :)

“How should we be able to forget those ancient myths that are at the beginning of all peoples, the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us. So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloudshadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any miseries, or any depressions? For after all, you do not know what work these conditions are doing inside you.”

— Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet (via observando)

10 Days until Season 10
"10 Most Memorable Moments of Season 9" → Castiel (3/10)
Day 8: 9x09 "Holy Terror"

Bruised. Battered. Bloody. But not broken. You wouldn’t tell them even just a single word, even if you knew. Your lips are sealed. You won’t beg for mercy. You won’t give them the satisfaction. No, you’d rather die. Calculating, cunning, careful. A force to mess with. You saw a chance and you took it. You did what you had to. Not what you wanted to. You didn’t choose it, because you missed being an angel. No, taking Theo’s grace was solely brought on by circumstance. Not by desperation, but because the situation called for it. You didn’t think it through. Not really. It was a means to get you from a to b, to help your brothers and sisters. It was like stealing a weapon, taking a useful tool. You didn’t like it, but it was the only way. At least that’s what you are trying to tell yourself: I did what I had to.

"See the worst of me,
and try to love me despite
all the dark you find."

Track Title: Scarborough Fair/Canticle

Artist: Simon & Garfunkel

Album: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme

Scarborough Fair/Canticle  // Simon & Garfunkel

"Are you going to Scarborough Fair:
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there.
She once was a true love of mine.

On the side of a hill in the deep forest green.
Tracing of sparrow on snow-crested brown.
Blankets and bedclothes the child of the mountain
Sleeps unaware of the clarion call.

Tell her to make me a cambric shirt:
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme;
Without no seams nor needle work,
Then she’ll be a true love of mine.

On the side of a hill a sprinkling of leaves.
Washes the grave with silvery tears.
A soldier cleans and polishes a gun.
Sleeps unaware of the clarion call.

Tell her to find me an acre of land:
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme;
Between the salt water and the sea strand,
Then she’ll be a true love of mine.

War bellows blazing in scarlet battalions.
General order their soldiers to kill.
And to fight for a cause they’ve long ago forgotten.

Tell her to reap it with a sickle of leather:
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme;
And gather it all in a bunch of heather,
Then she’ll be a true love of mine.”






Dar’s wording on that sneak peek for Black is kind of odd, isn’t it? She says “A Winchester, one of us” which seems like she’s talking about Dean being a demon, but then she goes on to say “It’s true isn’t it” and then accuses Sam of having forgotten his boy…

It would also allow Sam to take advantage of the MOL compound to work on his spell work. Henry knew spell work and so did Magnus so having Sam sort of doing dark magic to get to Dean would be an awesome sort of homage to his legacy.

Still isn’t terrible he’s still just torturing a monster so… Not really sure what we are being sold here.  

If Sam is doing Magnus’ version of black magic/spell work, that would be interesting indeed.  Magnus was “master of spells” while he was at the MOL and was felt to be too extreme by them.  And I think pretty much everyone thought Magnus was one of the creepiest bad guys SPN has had in a long time.  So if Sam has dug up Magnus’ work and headed down that path, he may very well be seen as something quite monstrous.

And this is where I slip in with this speculation here where I feel as though the show might have hinted at Sam following Magnus’ footsteps in using spells against Dean (or rather demon!Dean) and this here which, to me, felt very similar visually in what we saw of Dean’s reaction to Magnus’ magic…

This might also make sense with the introduction of Rowena, who I think, if I remember correctly was described as a witch? Maybe Sam learns from her??? I always wondered if she is working ~with the Winchesters or with Crowley. Maybe Crowley goes to her for help, because the Winchesters are completely out of his league at this point…

Watching a concert of “Simon and Garfunkel”…

…and being just completely enthralled and captivated once more, because their music just has something so magical, something so honest and true. Man, I just really really love their music.

10 Days until Season 10
"10 Most Memorable Moments of Season 9" → Sam (3/10)
Day 8: 9x10 "Road Trip"

Poughkeepsie. One word. That’s all you needed. To be baffled and equally alarmed. Ready to drop everything and run. But never in your wildest dreams - or rather nightmares - would you have thought you’d hear that code word from a demon and least the King of Hell. He tells you he is there to break you out and even though you had your suspicions, it’s like a punch in the gut when you do - like he tells you to - remember. You in a hospital bed dying. You talking to Dean. Your hands slitting some poor guy’s throat. Your hands killing Kevin. You’re devastated. And then he’s there. Emanating a certain calm, but also danger. “Hello Sam” is all he says. Gadreel. The angel your brother had invited in, the angel that saved you without you wanting to be saved, the angel, who doesn’t want to give you up. So he tells you to give up, that you’re not strong enough, that he might be the only thing holding you together, that if he leaves you might die. As if you hadn’t made your choice, as if that hadn’t been what you were okay with all along. And even though you had made your peace with death, you decide to fight, to take back the agency you’ve been ripped off, turn the tables and tell him to get the hell out.

To the lovely whoever…

…just sent me a message via submit (I’m posting via phone from work and the app won’t show me, who sent the submit - just in case you are wondering why I am not talking to you directly if you happened to not have sent it anonymously): You are NOT wasting my time, dear! *hugs* Love what you wrote. I’ll reply to you when I am home from work tonight.

posted 1 day ago

"Of late, she had felt coldness in herself, and though she feared it, she loved it too, for it made her strong."
— Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless (via abattoirette)


You know, what’s truly ridiculous about Metatron’s “he’s in love with humanity” line is that it’s not just a bait and switch designed to get the audience to shout out WITH DEAN before Metatron says the second part; it’s that when it comes to Cas, Dean has always been the representation fo humanity and all that comes with it.

When Cas begins to express sympathy for humanity openly, he does it by expressing his sympathy for Dean.  When he comes back from being reconditioned in Heaven, he says that he doesn’t serve man, and that he certainly doesn’t serve Dean.  When he rebels, it’s because Dean reminded him of humanity and everything that would be lost if the apocalypse was allowed to happen.

As Cas as a character and his relationship with Dean developed, so too did Dean’s symbolic association with humanity.  In season 6 Dean isn’t so much equated as the representative of humanity, but rather someone who deserved to partake in the joys that humanity had to offer.  Similarly, seasons 7 and 8 featured a shift where Dean didn’t represent the whole of humanity from Cas’ perspective, but an individual whom Cas happened to care about specifically.  For example, the speech that motivates him to help take down the Leviathans is much more individualized than the speech in season 4 that led Cas to rebel; Cas also refers to Dean as a “good man,” in 8x17, and invariably his relationship with Dean is presented as a relationship between two individuals, rather than a more generalized rendering of a relationship between an angel and a human.

And then in season 9, we not only have Cas becoming a human himself for part of the season, we also have Metatron’s infamous line: “He’s in love… with humanity.”  So here we’ve come full circle, because Dean is once again being connected to the concept of being human (an ironic and powerful connection to his decided lack of humanity once he becomes a demon); but where in season 4 and 5 Dean was the representative of humanity, here we have humanity as a representation of Dean.  It’s an indication of Cas’ true state of mind, because the metaphor has been flipped: rather than channeling his affection for humanity through Dean, he is now channeling his affection for Dean through his care of humanity.

"I will be wild. I will be brutal. I will encircle you and conquer you. I will be more powerful than your boats and your swords and your blood lust. I will be inevitable."
— Iphigenia, from A Memory of Wind by Rachel Swirsky.  (via sourirefugace)