N° 10 in the Series "Favourite SPN Shots"
2x13 "House of the Holy"

"I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe… Maybe I could be saved."

So based on the “spoiler”…



…that Georgia Beaty has been cast to play a Wendigo/Yellow-Eyed Demon in 10x05 “Fan Fiction” - and yes, I know this is really based in nothing but just one small idea that I’m sure tons of others had as well - I am kind of wondering if maybe in the episode and the play all the characters will be gender-swapped. It sure would add a nice meta-twist.

I read somewhere that apparently the school they attend is a girls school, so it makes sense every character is played by girls students.

Oooh, I only saw those two bts-pics, but hadn’t heard about the girls school-thing. That sounds interesting.

I just kind of stay out of the way. It’s awkward for me because I don’t really like to be in the room when he’s signing stuff, because people will look at me and wonder, or make it something about me, saying I’m uncomfortable, and they’ll write on the internet, oh she’s so weird. I like to stay out of the way and watch him do his thing, because he has such a great personality. I think he can do anything. When you watch the one you love being loved by all these people, it warms your heart. It’s fun for me to watch. I am a fan of Jensen’s.
Danneel Ackles (via dean-and-his-gay-thing)

We do this because the world we live in is a house on fire and the people we love are burning.
Sandra Cisneros, on writing (via outpastthemoat)

(Source: youaintmybrideofdracula)

So based on the “spoiler”…

…that Georgia Beaty has been cast to play a Wendigo/Yellow-Eyed Demon in 10x05 “Fan Fiction” - and yes, I know this is really based in nothing but just one small idea that I’m sure tons of others had as well - I am kind of wondering if maybe in the episode and the play all the characters will be gender-swapped. It sure would add a nice meta-twist.

Sep 02

Anonymous said: Hey!! I just wanted to tell you how awesome you and your blog are. I really love all of it specially your meta and I really respect your point of view. I was just wondering what is your point of view in all the speculation of dean and john ( like the verbal, physical and psychological abuse) if you can and if it is not a problem. But we'll I just wanted to make shire you are awesome and your blog too and your meta. Sorry and thanks

Dear anon,

first of all: Thank you so much for saying all these beautiful things. :’) It kind of makes me pretty emotional. *blushes a lot* It really means a lot. *hugs you fiercely*

Since I am replying via phone (from work *shhhhh*) I unfortunately cannot add any links, but I wrote a bit about John Winchester in relation to his parenting before (you can find that post in my tag “Supernatural Meta Sorted by Character” on my page and then under “John Winchester”) and also broached the subject of neglect and the all around difficult relationship Dean had with his father while comparing Crowley’s relationship with Gavin and Dean to it (you should find it under the tag “Things about SPN”-posts and then under 9x21 “King of the Damned”). The relationship Dean formed with Crowley in general in S9 to me was alluding a lot to Dean’s “daddy issues” since Crowley basically tried to set himself up as a sort of surrogate father and reinforced lost of thoughts on John Winchester (you will probably find a few metas/specs dealing with John/Crowley/Dean and the topic of abuse in the “Crowley”-section of “… by Character” as well). And, last but not least – I talked about Dean’s relationship to his father more in depth (and particularly in relation to his transformation in S9) in my “Hellatus Meta Madness”-entries “From Butterfly to Caterpillar – Dean’s Metamorphosis in Season 9 in Relation to Kafka and Ovid”. In the first part in particular which was titled “A Story about Decay, Alienation and Isolation” (you should find it under “Dean Winchester”-section of “… by Character” as well – I think I posted it sometime in July).

Hope this helps. If it’s not what you were looking for and didn’t really capture what you would have liked to know just send me another ask. :)

And thank you again for your loveliness! I am not amazing. I am just a girl that loves to lose herself in a certain tv show and in emotions and ideas induced by said show. But you are amazing, because you brightened up this very grey and rainy tuesday afternoon here at work (which I really need to get back to now).

Sorry for all the brackets!!! I know they make it kind of confusing and hard to read.

To the lovely anon…

…in my ask with the question about John Winchester.

First of all: Thank you for your kind words! <3

Second of all: I don’t have time to go into answering your question right now, because I have to hurry to work, but I’ll reply to you this evening. Maybe until then just check the John Winchester tag in the “Supernatural Meta Sorted by Character" tag on my blog, okay? :)

Don’t Fear the Reaper // Blue Öyster Cult

"All our times have come
Here but now they’re gone
Seasons don’t fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain… we can be like they are
Come on baby… don’t fear the reaper
Baby take my hand… don’t fear the reaper
We’ll be able to fly… don’t fear the reaper
Baby I’m your man…

La la la la la
La la la la la

Valentine is done
Here but now they’re gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity… Romeo and Juliet
40, 000 men and women everyday… Like Romeo and Juliet
40, 000 men and women everyday… Redefine happiness
Another 40, 000 coming everyday… We can be like they are
Come on baby… don’t fear the reaper
Baby take my hand… don’t fear the reaper
We’ll be able to fly… don’t fear the reaper
Baby I’m your man…

La la la la la
La la la la la

Love of two is one
Here but now they’re gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn’t go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew then disappeared
The curtains flew then he appeared… saying don’t be afraid
Come on baby… and she had no fear
And she ran to him… then they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodbye… she had become like they are
She had taken his hand… she had become like they are
Come on baby… don’t fear the reaper”

1,010 plays

Too tired to function…

…good night, lovelies!

Thank you for being so amazing! :’)

Thank you for following!

Thank you for being you!

<3 <3 <3

Greta Buysse

Greta Buysse

(Source: oldroze)

Anonymous said: Yes, that's the one :) Damn I was asking because the writer is joining DCBB this year and I just got really really excited and wanted to share the news (and maybe the freaking out) with you -blushes- You should totally continue reading; Lord knows I've recced that one more than I care to admit haha. Also, is everything arlight with you, dear? You weren't around here much today so I'm just cheking up on you. Have a good night <3

Hey sweetie! *hugs*

Ooooh, then I will absolutely read it before I read the entry for this year’s DCBB. Seems it sure was a favourite of  a lot of people. :)

That is sweet that you are asking, dear. I am good (though I kind of think there is a cold bubbling underneath the surface to come out), have only been working long.

Have a good night as well and only the sweetest of dreams! <3 <3 <3

sleepsintheimpala replied to your post “Darling, I was wondering if you’ve read Ad Astra?”

Yup, that’s Ad Astra. Well worth the read!

If I remember correctly I really liked it when I read it last year, but really all I can recollect now is this one sentence, which spekas for the sentence. :) Because I usually only remember such stuff if I really liked it. :)

So: Noted as “To Read”.

Anonymous said: Darling, I was wondering if you've read Ad Astra?

Hey dear anon,

I think I started reading it last year when it came out during the posting cycle of the DCBB. BUT: I never finished it, so I would probably have to start from the beginning, because I basically only think I can recall the line

"Stars have died for you, Dean Winchester."

Is that from “Ad Astra”? Otherwise I must have confused it with another FF. There were lots of awesome DCBB fics last year. Though there are always tons of amazing ones. :)

"Oh Crowley…" - Magnificent Master-Manipulator or Lone Wolf Longing for Love?

Yesterday a lovely anon asked me if I could write a bit about Crowley in S9 while particularly taking into account his conversation with Sam in 9x16 “Blade Runners”. Since yesterday I was too tired to come up with anything coherent, I promised to make a post about it sometime this week - sometime turned out being now, because I have a few minutes. :)

I think when looking at Crowley and his arc in S9 it’s vital to ask yourself whether you tend to believe that whatever humanity Crowley re-connected with when Sam was trying to cure him in 8x23 “Sacrifice” had a genuine and long-lasting effect on him or if what we saw of him, especially towards the latter half of the season, was just a very well orchestrated technique to make people believe he was off his game, when he was anything but.

Gladly - and I truly mean it, because this is why Crowley has been a really compelling character to analyze over the course of S9 - this question is not all that easy - and in fact - maybe impossible to answer. I personally tend to believe that the Crowley we saw in the church in the season finale of S8 showed a Crowley completely overwhelmed by human feelings he hadn’t felt in a long time. It’s not having human feelings in general that was new, it was the kind of feelings that were important and telling. Because just like angels, demons and monsters have emotions. They were never shown unable of emotion on SPN. Most of the time though their emotions seem to circle around fulfilling certain drives, urges and darker needs - circling around pleasure and instant gratification of the desired (which fits to what we know about Demon!Dean as well). But we know as well that demons - without needing to be shot up with human blood - are able to feel empathy, sadness and yes, I believe even love. Meg’s storyline supports such a reading especially. That being said, most of the time it’s not the gentle feelings, the emotions of empathy and understanding that is taking the driver’s seat in making decisions, but the darker ones. They cover those that lie buried underneath and just need the right spark to burst into flames…

In a way I personally tend to believe that demons are souls lost to their id (analyzed with Freud - see here or here for more on that) or their shadow (analyzed with Jung - see here). Those parts of their personality overshadowing and suppressing everything else while the other components are still there and maybe consciously or subconsciously stored away.

For Crowley I personally assume he’d long been longing for appreciation, being looked up to, being ~loved - like he admitted to Sam in the church - all of the things he must have never felt he got even though he was the king of hell. This sort of resembles how Cas said when he was powered up by all the souls from purgatory that it’s no use if they don’t mean it (profess their love to him), because they don’t love him or respect him just fear him. And while I expect Crowley to mostly not give a damn about those things, maybe deep down he wanted someone to tell him what an excellent job he does at handling hell. He wanted a friend, a companion. You could even go as far as saying that maybe in a way that is why he worked with Cas as well. Though of course he mostly thought about his own advantage and was playing with Cas (as much as he was playing Dean). And since a friend/lover/companion didn’t come naturally, he decided to create one. Not only in order to be able to get rid off Abaddon once Dean took on the mark of Cain, but maybe as some sort of revenge as well: Sam took everything from him in that church, made him vulnerable, so he took what was most important to Sam: Dean.

Of course it’s not that easy and not that black and white with Crowley. In fact, he is the master of shades of grey and I fully believe that Crowley not only wanted Dean to turn so he could use him as a weapon, but also because he wanted him as a friend, as someone to howl at the moon with together (I am dying to see Crowley realize that the demon he raised is completely out of his control and lightyears out of his league). Maybe also because while Dean’s emotions that made him the person we all have grown to love so much over 9 years is so fully and completely about caring and loving (to the point he as a person disappears) are buried deep and he embraces all the things he formerly suppressed, Crowley’s emotions that used to circle around how to gain more power suddenly circle around love and care as well. Especially in that regard a very important line for Crowley’s arc in S10 could be this one

"You know why I always defeat you? You always put emotion before good old fashioned common sense."

Because - like I said here quite a while back - Crowley might have signed his own death certificate with what he revealed there…

All that being said, I personally tend to believe that Crowley’s words in the season 8 finale were honest and heartfelt and Crowley was mightily overwhelmed by the feelings that washed over him and grew quite fond of them, but got his addiction way earlier under control than he let on and tried to make the Winchesters believe. At the same time I think that what he felt, has changed him and his outlook, which did show in part when Gavin was introduced. He might have dabbled into some human emotions he hadn’t felt in a long time, but he was nowhere near as off his game as he tried to make it seem.

I personally do believe most of his tactic involved looking harmless while gathering his strength in silence and studying his subjects as intently as he had never been able to before, because now he was “inside”, got a front-row-seat. Making himself useful to me was the second step of getting under the Winchester’s skin. Like my dear anon said "Crowley during Season 9 showed an overly growing need to get in the good odds with the Winchesters", he had a tactic and that tactic to me mostly was about building ~common ground. I actually wrote a not (all serious) step by step guide to Crowley’s tactic in that regard (see here), so maybe that would already cover your “question”. :)

As for Sam’s and Crowley’s interactions in 9x16 “Blade Runners”: Those were golden, because they showed so clearly how different and in the end fatal the Winchester’s relationship to Crowley turned out being. While Crowley succeeded in sort of setting himself up as a friend and father figure (this truly is the creepiest thing ever to me personally) with Dean and feeding Dean’s addiction, none of his ~charme worked on Sam, because he wasn’t susceptible for Crowley’s manipulation than Dean was. Crowley tried to make good with sam as well, but fast had to realize that the younger Winchester wouldn’t warm up to him the way he got the older Winchester to.

To wrap this up and to answer the question in the title. To me Crowley is both a magnificent Master-Manipulator and a Lone Wolf Longing to Be Loved. I don’t doubt for a second that he was taken over by what had happened in the church and that it had a genuine effect on him, but I don’t doubt for a second either that Crowley had known fully well right from the beginning what the mark would do to him, what it would turn him into. And so he kept looking for signs, whether it was in Magnus’ lair or when he tested Dean to save him in the bar, he knew and even if he looked somewhat troubled when he talked to Dean’s corpse. His “apology” surely might have had much more to do with him making good with a demon that is effectively the son of Cain.